Building a good self esteem by understanding your importance.
Self esteem is one of the most important pillars of the psychological make up of any person. Positive self-esteem helps people to act responsibly and stand up for themselves no matter the circumstances. They make good leaders and can be relied upon in any situation.
Saul, first king of the Israelites had poor self-esteem. The day he was crowned and anointed as king of
Saul could also have thought: "Please it can't be me. I am just a humble poor guy!" By saying this it could give the idea he understood the severity of his future role and responsibility.
The opposite however is true. It was no virtue to hide or to think himself not worthy of his new occupation. It showed a crack in his make-up as a leader, he had low self esteem. People with low self esteem make the most erratic decisions imaginable. There is clearly no structure or discipline in their actions. They are not consistent and their behaviour borders on a neurotic condition.
They find it hard to see the value of things. Make a person with low self-esteem a king and he would regard it as worthless. Low self-esteem individuals struggle to perceive goals and standards required of them. They cannot make appropriate decisions and fail their subordinates and God dismally.
For instance, the same "humble" guy later built a monument in honor of himself and chose to do an offering without the presence of the prophet because he was scared! He ordered his army not to eat when they needed energy to fight, without food it was impossible to keep up their assault. With this ruling he nearly caused the death of one of the heroes, his own son. Saul was afraid of his men and could not stand up to them. They ruled him and did as they pleased. Saul could not understand the importance of his calling and position. The same happened with Adam and Eve; they could not grasp their excellence and superiority hence giving it all away because the snake created uncertainty in their minds. They were not disciplined enough to stick to the rules!
So how would you cure a low self esteem?
An increasing body of evidence suggests that
sufficient structure, order, predictable
goals, conditions and consequences
are essential to the healthy development of
persons with high self esteem: (Ellens 1998 :126)
To improve your self esteem you need to turn up the pressure on yourself. You need to create structure and discipline for yourself. Start by identifying your goals, clarify your values, modify your behaviour and especially conduct an honest measurement of your own achievements. Raise your standards, try to be better, lift the bar a little.
The moment you realise how important your role and position is, you are on the right path. Don't feel sorry for yourself or worse don't be afraid of anything. If you have to make hard decisions or have to wait when things go wild, be strong. Stick to your goals and structures, don't perceive them as worthless! Don't perceive yourself as worthless. Don't be anxious and don't fear people.
If Saul just lifted the bar a little on his performance as king, he could have made it. He chose to stay in his low self-esteem hell and deteriorated into being totally neurotic and sick. Eventually he tried to kill David with a spear and ended up dying by suicide!
By God's grace, start today and build a positive self-esteem in order to be self-assertive and able to stand up for your values, goals and standards! By doing this you will be reliable and steadfast in your decisions and you will be able to fulfill expectations! You will be a person who understands his worth and excellence and acts accordingly! You will be a king!
:17 "Even though you consider yourself of no importance, you
are the leader of the tribes of
anointed you King of Israel" :24"I was afraid of
my men and did what they wanted"
1 Samuel 15 : 17 and 24
Ellens J. Harold: Psychoteology, Key issues;
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